Wednesday, April 9, 2014


I am desperately trying to find a balance in my life. I need time to:

  • read my Bible
  • do chores
  • organize
  • clean everything
  • take care of the kids
  • write in my journal
  • cook/feed my family
  • play with the kids
  • get outside
  • exercise
  • teach the kids
  • spend time with my hubby
  • declutter
  • rest/relax
  • get a good night's sleep
  • read novels for fun
  • ...and the list goes on and on...
I know all of you out there with families to take care of know what I am talking about. It is just so hard to get it all done. I have been getting up an hour earlier in the morning to take care of my own needs like reading, writing in my journal and making a to do list to center myself for the day...I also try to exercise at that time. I have been getting the kids to clean with me during the day so they can understand the responsibility of getting things done TOGETHER too. They are enjoying helping with the cleaning. I try to declutter during the day just to get stuff out of the house when I come across something I don't need anymore. And special cleaning jobs I do at night when my hubby gets home. I could go on and on...but I won't.

It is all just a balancing act that I do everyday. I am getting better at it though...

Friday, March 14, 2014

Just getting my thoughts out about cleaning and being productive...

If you don't want to read a lot of run on sentences and rambling about cleaning the house and being lazy then I would just skip this post.... (I didn't even edit or read it again, I just typed it up and pressed publish, so it probably won't even make sense). I just needed to get some thoughts out of my head)

Just finished cleaning off my kitchen counter and mopping my kitchen floor. I am also getting some laundry done today. I have decided that sometimes I just have to do it (even if I don't feel like it). No one else is going to clean my house but me. I can be lazy or I can be productive. Guess which one will make me feel better at the end of the day?!? I am the only one who can change myself. I am the only one who can make myself get off my a** and get some work done around the house. I need to tell the lazy b**** inside of me to shutup!! I don't want to sit down! I want to have a clean house for my family and myself because it makes me feel good at the end of the day. I can think better without all the clutter everywhere. I can be a better mother and a better wife if I have some order to my house. I can maybe get some exercise for the day as well. I don't need to sit around and do nothing all day...all that does is make me depressed and that is definitely something I do not need. I get unhappy when I just sit all the time. It makes me feel fat and lazy and grumpy. I don't want to feel like that. I want to be happy and healthy for my family and myself. The only way I will do this is to just get up...get off the computer, get off the sofa, turn off the tv, put my phone down and JUST GET THINGS DONE!!!! When I am old and remember things, I don't want to just remember how lazy I was and how I just ignored things and never did stuff, I want to remember how I played with my kids, how we blasted music and did chores together. I want to remember that I got my butt off the chair and played on the floor with them. I want to remember that we went outside and had a great time just running around in the sunshine. I want to remember how we had room on the counter to do really fun art projects and how we made messes together and cleaned them up together. Those are things I want my kids to remember as well. I don't want them to remember a lazy mother who didn't want to play with them because she was tired/depressed/bored/etc. I don't want them to remember how angry/upset I was all the time because I never got up to do anything. I want them to remember a happy, productive mother. One that isn't afraid to do things and isn't too tired to do things.

How will you change your life today so that you can have better memories later?

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Where I have been...

For the passed few weeks I have been feeling depression creep back up into my life...and I let it. Sometimes I feel like I cannot control it. It is just something that comes over me and I have to give in to the darkness. I hate it! It makes me angry. It makes me sad. It makes me anxious. It makes me cry. It makes me yell. It makes me want to hide. It makes me want to run away. it makes me silent. It's just bad. And for a few weeks I was withdrawn, I yelled at my kids, I couldn't do anything right, I alienated people, I couldn't breath, I complained a lot, I hated everything and everyone (including myself), my life sucked...

Today, I am feeling much better. I feel like the darkness has lifted a little and I can breath again. I got up much happier, actually looking forward to the day ahead. I made pancakes for the kids for breakfast, I did dishes, I put supper in the crock pot and when I am done with this blog post, I plan on going play on the floor with them.

Here is what I am beginning to learn: I need to learn to control this. I can't allow depression/the darkness to take over my life. The only way I can do that is to fill my life with happiness/light. So here is my plan...

1. read my bible/pray a lot more often--get help from above. I am not alone.
2. stop saying "no" so often--I want a "yes" house. It will make my kids and my hubby much happier.
3. be more positive--I am so bad at automatically assuming the worst about everything. I am a pessimistic person since birth and it's super hard to change my way of thinking, but I have survive the darkness.
4. spend more time together with my family and less time alone doing my own things--I am very selfish and I need to stop. I have plenty of time to knit, be on the computer, read, or art journal later. My kids will only be little this one time. It is not just me anymore and my hobbies will always be there.
5. be more open with my feelings--I need to talk more about what I am feeling (with my family, or even on this blog). I can't hold it in all the time. No one will think less of me because I am feeling depression come again.

I know my life won't be all sunshine and roses overnight, but I can do the best I can everyday to make it better. I will have to recommit every single morning to make my life contain more light and less darkness. My family deserves a happy mom.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Art time!!

I love doing art projects with the kids. They get so excited when I bring out the papers and colors. I just bought them some paint as well. A13m just started learning how to color, but I have to watch her like a hawk because she tends to just want to eat them. Haha. I guess the bright colors look appetizing. :) I am in the process of making them their own art/school desk to keep all their supplies in one place. It's going to be so cute!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

#This moment....

I am sitting here at my kitchen table trying to keep breathing. I am willing my kids to play nicely because I can't handle all this whining today. I am cold. My body is both wanting to shut down and be alive all at the same time. I want to curl up on the couch and not move, but I also want to get out of this house. I hate when I feel like this...when I am in a bad mood.

Today so far is a "bad mother" day. I don't like this. I feel the anxiety balling up inside of me and it won't come out. I feel my anger flare up every time J3 goes near his sister and makes her cry (for nothing). I hate feeling like this, but some days I just can't help it. I feel I am powerless to stop it. I am boiling green beans so the kids will have something healthy for lunch, but that is as far as I have gotten. There are clothes to do, exercise to get done, dishes to do, things to clean, things to organize, etc. My brain is running a million miles a minute and I am so overwhelmed that I end up not doing anything.

This moment is not a good moment for me. I need to regroup and reset my focus. How? This is a question I ask myself often. How do I stay away from this depression I have fallen into? It is a functioning depression, but it is still there. This evil thing inside of me that grows when something (even just a little thing) goes wrong. That is something I am still trying to fix.

For now, I guess I will get off of this chair and put that batch of clothes into the dryer and just keep going. It's all I can do. I will figure out the rest as I go along... 

I got this prompt from Crissy Page

Monday, February 3, 2014

Just writing.....

I hate this time of year! It is cold outside and I can't go anywhere. I can feel my depression slowly creeping up on me. I can't stand myself when I am like this! I am not happy with anything! I just want to make my own little nest and bury myself in it. I don't even know what will help me feel better. My hubby is a big help and I already get some time to myself, when I ask, so that's not the problem. I just don't get why I feel like this. It drives me crazy because I don't want to be sad and upset all the time but I feel like I can't help it. It is more work to make myself feel happy. Ugh!!! I will probably be like this for a few days and then I will get better for a few days. It comes and goes and I never know when it's gonna hit me. I suppose I should just be happy that it isn't every day. Some days I just want to run away, but I can't... I need to just breathe for awhile and maybe this feeling will pass....

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Homemade noodles!

I have been wanting to try my hand at making my own noodles. Luckily my mom had a pasta machine that I could use...I didn't have to go buy one until I know I enjoy making them. It was easier then I thought it would be. It was just a little time consuming. I am sure I will get faster everytime I make it! 

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


I am sitting here freezing my buns off!!! I hate winter and it has been roaring here lately. I totally have the winter blues. I hate being stuck in the house and not being able to go anywhere. I hate being cold and not being able to let my kids play outside. I cannot wait until spring time when we can go for long walks and let the kids play in their play house. It makes my day so much better when I can get some fresh air for a little while. On the other hand, it is pretty neat that we are having some ice/snow fall this year. It rarely happens and if I have to endure the cold weather, I should at least have something pretty to look at.

What is the weather where you are at? Do you enjoy the cold winter or are you more of a summer person?

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Making yogurt

I made yogurt for my family this passed weekend. I love knowing that they are getting something healthy and homemade from me. I know the exact ingredients that go into it and it is much cheaper then buying it at the store. That is a big plus! My mom got me started making it. It's super easy! If you make your own yogurt I would love to hear from you. Do you flavor it or eat it plain? What is your favorite way to have yogurt?

Friday, January 17, 2014

New shelves for my kitchen!!

I was desperately needing some shelves in these kitchen cabinets! Just look at all that wasted space up there. These store bought shelves didn't help either because the sides got in the way. I couldn't put anything underneath them. 

I asked my hubby if he could make me some. He is always wanting to do things like that around the house so he jumped at the chance! I got new shelves that night. He made 4 of them so I have lots of extra shelves. I just have to figure out what to put on them now. 

What kind of improvements have you made to your kitchen to get more storage space?

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Beginning of my kitchen organization...

I have started to organize my kitchen. I knew that I couldn't do it all at once because it would overwhelm me so I started small. Last night I took all my appliances out and put them all over my counter. I wiped them down, threw out broken ones and put all the pieces together in one spot. 

Then, I put them all on my bakers rack (I think that is what this is called LOL). I am reading the book "Unstuff your Life". It was recommended to me by Emily at Joyful Abode. The author's motto is "like with like" so that has been what I am trying to do. Now all my appliances (and their pieces) are in one place.

This is everything I am donating from my kitchen so far. I am learning that I don't need all the stuff I thought I did. All it does is just clutter up my life. It keeps me from finding the things I do need because I have a bunch of stuff to search through. The amount of things I have is ridiculous! I don't even use half of it! What things have you decluttered lately?

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Homemade bread

I love making homemade bread. I have been making whole wheat bread recently but I ran out of whole wheat flour. We needed bread so I made white bread. We haven't had white bread in awhile and it was so good! I say "was" because it is gone now. I am going to have to make it more often. :)

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Homemade Tortillas

I decided awhile ago to start making my own food in the kitchen whenever I could. I am trying to get my family to eat more whole foods and more foods without all the artificial ingredients in them. So I decided to try my hand at making tortillas. I figured that would be something I could definitely do.
I have been looking for a tortilla press but didn't have any luck at my local stores. Luckily my dad is a woodworker and so I just asked him to make me one after I saw a tutorial online. It didn't take him very long at all... This one is actually my moms. It makes 8 inch tortillas. Dad is going to make me one that makes 10 inch tortillas. 

They were super simple to make. I just mixed the corn flour with water until it formed a dough. Then I cut it into 16 pieces. I basically followed the instructions on the back of the bag of corn flour. I think I will cut less pieces next time though because the tortillas came out really small. J helped me roll all the pieces into balls. Then you just cover the press with plastic wrap (I used a ziplock bag), put a ball of dough in it and press down on the handle. 

Out comes a flat, round, corn tortilla. I was so excited cuz it was really easy. Afterward you just cook them in a skillet for about a minute on each side. Fill them with your favorite fillings and enjoy your tacos/burritos whatever you want to make!!! I filled mine with eggs and spinach cuz it was breakfast time. Delicious!!  :)

What is your favorite thing to make from scratch?

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Homemade soap dispensers

This is the first project I did for the year on my quest to declutter and clean my house. I made soap dispensers out of old lotion containers! I could never make myself throw them away and I am so glad that I didn't. I was able to reuse something in my home that I needed instead of going out and buying new ones. That is one of my goals this not automatically think I have to spend money on new things all the time. I can reuse and repurpose items I already have at home.
I had to make sure that they were cleaned really well.
I diluted this mint oil cleaner that I found at my local store. This is what I have been using to clean the house because I absolutely LOVE the smell!!!
Sorry I forgot to take pictures of my total process...I was totally lost in the moment, but here they are finished! They are so cute! All I did was cut scrapbook paper that I had at home to fit where I wanted it on the bottle and used mod podge to glue it on. I also put a layer of mod podge on top to seal the paper because obviously these will get wet by the sink. I love how they came out. It gave my bathrooms a splash of color and you know that I love color!! :)

Have you made anything lately to improve the beauty of your house? I would love to hear about it!! :)

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Who is ready to party?!?

We are having A's birthday party tomorrow afternoon. I can't believe she is 1 already!!! Here are some of the cupcakes I made (unfinished of course). I will take more pics later when I frost and decorate them. They are gonna be so cute!! I love baking!!!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year!!!!! 2014!!!!!!

Oh my goodness!!!! I can't believe it is 2014!!!!! 

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!

I hope y'all are all having a wonderful start to your new year!!! I know we are!!!! In a little while we are going to head to my aunt's house to have lunch with the family. I just wanted to write real quick about my goals for the new year! Let's see...I think I will just list them out for you.

1. More healthy food...Less junk food
2. More playing/books...Less screen time
3. More happy...Less sad
4. More moving...Less sitting
5. More patience...Less yelling
6. More cleaning...Less laziness
7. More art/knitting/reading...Less tv/computer/phone

That's about covers it all! Usually I list specific things and I end up not meeting my goals and it discourages me so this year I am just making generic statements about what I want my life to be. I am just going to take it one day at a time. That is what builds a good year...everyday make better choices then the day before!!

What are your goals for the new year? I would love to hear them! :)

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

My day.....

*Sorry...I wrote this on my phone yesterday and I thought it posted. I didn't realize until just now that it hadn't posted like I thought (there was an error). So I redid it and it worked today.*

I had a ton of laundry to do today! I mean a ton!  I also did dishes, took down the Christmas decorations and a few other things around the house. Monday is always my "energy" day...the day I get things done. How about you? What is your day to do things?

Sunday, December 29, 2013

A fresh start....

Who is ready for the NEW YEAR?!? It is almost 2014!! I love when a new year starts. To me, it's a new beginning, a fresh start, a do over...however you want to look at it. This year I am taking my fresh start and focusing on my home. I am so bad about cleaning, organizing and getting things done around the house. The general cleaning is mainly done by my hubby. I am very spoiled and he knows that I hate to clean so he just does it for me. He loves having a clean, picked up house so he focuses on that more than I do. I love a clean house too, but I am just too lazy to do it. Piles of clutter don't really bother me so I just clean things as I see they need to be done. This year it's going to be different! I am trying my hardest not to be so lazy and I started today.
This morning I cleaned most of my bathroom. I bought some mint oil cleaner that I absolutely LOVE the smell of and I cleaned my toilet really good, the shower got a deep scrubbing, and I cleaned the sinks and counter tops. I wanted to do the tub and floors too, but I was exhausted!!! My back is still hurting me. I will just do the rest another day.
I just finished making a list of everything that I want to get done in the house. It is like 5 pages long, but I listed all the rooms and everything separately. It's the only way for me to not get overwhelmed about it all. I will just take it one thing at a time.
I am trying to make my home into a haven. A place I totally love. A place that I enjoy looking at. I want to decorate it like I want and not just what came with it. I would eventually like brighter colors, to change the curtains, colorful furniture (or at least bright throw pillows)...things like that. This morning I reused some lotion bottles and turned them into soap dispensers. I will have a post about that soon. My main objective is to declutter, organize, and make things around my home easy to find and clean! I don't think that is too much to ask. I will just have to put in the work and I am willing to do that!

Anyone with me on this? Are you going to make 2014 your year to finally declutter, organize and decorate your space so you will love your home? I would appreciate any tips or advice on your favorite ways to organize. Please share! :)

Monday, December 23, 2013

Tick Tock Tick Tock

I am sitting here just waiting to get my haircut. Waiting is the worst! I thought it would be quick but I was wrong. There is a line of people trying to get their hair done before Christmas. I should have known better. Oh well, I am just sitting here thinking about all the stuff I could be doing instead of waiting. My life as a mother...there is always something to do. I am enjoying my alone time though. My hubby took some vacation days this week. I am so grateful to have him home so I can run some errands by myself. I thought I would be home by now but instead I am waiting......

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Christmas time is here.....

My mom and I baked Christmas cookies today. Well, she baked them and I decorated them. It's my favorite part!! I love making cookies!! We got lazy this year and just cut out rounds instead of all the usual "Christmas" shapes but they came out so cute!!! :)